I woke up with a sore throat.

It developed into a cough, which later turned into a lantern.
I emanated light while eating corn flakes. It made the milk
taste odd. Despite my light, I felt off. I called out sick. They
said I needed a note from a doctor. That it'd be my ass if I
didn't. I needed insurance. In Canada they have insurance
and low murder rates. Instead everyone dies from loneliness.
It's probably all that tundra. I didn't want to relocate so I
borrowed my roommate's insurance. In the waiting room,
I watched court television and grew a moustache. I sided
with the plaintiff. By then I developed a fever which made
my hair fall out. One day my number was called. The doctor
smelled of Christmas. He said, That's a bad cough. Does it burn?

I told him, I need a note. He said, I'd be happy to, but I can't
let a blind man drive home. I had been wondering for years
why I'd never laughed at physical comedy. By now it had
grown dark. I said, How will I get home? He said, open your
mouth and follow the light.