If a can of soda is everyday tyranny, a cup of coffee is Hitler.
I used to laugh at the smokers standing in front of the building in twenty-degree weather puffing away. Then they'd drive home with the window open, shivering, just to smoke. What fools, I said.

But now it is me. I am the fool, and the coffee bean is my king.

I would kiss Juan Valdez's burro square on the lips for just one sip of that Colombian goodness. I'd slaughter the Folgers couple and their children just to lick the top of a used coffee mug.

I am pathetic. Do not look upon me. I am not of your kind. I am an animal. Damn you, coffee bean!

Damn you.